Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
