I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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