everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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