So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
