Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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