dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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