problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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