Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
