It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
