you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
