So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
