Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
