xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
