watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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