dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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