I wanna passion pit in your ass
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
