And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
