i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
