How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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