Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
