is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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