What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
