I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
