just tell him i said nine months
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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