Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
