so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
