Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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