if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
my liver is dry heaving
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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