My nipple is on Facebook.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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