nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
