Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i believe in u and ur pee
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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