its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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