She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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