There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
