The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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