We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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