there's paper in my vomit.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
