meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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