dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
