so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
