her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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