I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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