What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
