I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
