There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
