how can u be prego again
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
