i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
