and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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