When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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