a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
