It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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