Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She is in my trunk
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
