jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I will die if light touches me.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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