Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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