well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
