just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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