you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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