Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
