Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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