at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
