it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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