Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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