Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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