What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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