i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
