I wannas sexs uuuuu
two words: eviction party
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We don't watch enough power rangers
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
